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Just down the street from Hustler, the Lusty Lady is a place unlike any other on Earth. But negotiating with them is hardly play at all. After taking in a handful of top-drawer, fully nude schedu,e, I'm accosted by a pair of lithe, blond beauties who inform me that we are about to play.

Not only did the club unionize in the late '90s—check out the documentary Live Nude Girls Unite for a great look at some good old-fashioned rabble rousing—but it's now a worker-owned co-op, the only one of its kind. They're in town for a week from Orlando and spent the night at horxe Crazy Horse too.

The scene at lunch when I stop in for a turkey, apple, and brie sandwich isn't exactly the University Club, but it's clean, well-staffed, and patronized by a small, middle-class crowd. A fitting end I suppose, considering the club's hardcore reputation. You begin to wonder: What does this woman like? I'll level with you: I'm not much of a strip club guy.

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Once inside, I get the fullest of monties from a variety of quite attractive ladies. Eager to help me with horsse research, Skye gives me the best lap dance of my tour.

The crowd of watchers varies. If you would like to make a reservation with us, please fill out the information to the right, and a member of our staff will reach out to finalize your plans with us. I'm dismayed to learn that for my C-note, the foxy Briton will not be taking her top off.

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The price for a lap dance is a moving target. And I should emphasize the word variety. After a leisurely dinner, my buddy and I move up to the front row to spend the last of my expense. True, the booth smells of disinfectant hey, it's better than the alternativebut the dancers cut shemale m inherently lowbrow atmosphere with a playful dose of sex-positive feminism.

The patrons at the low-lit club are middle-agers who look like they're in town on business. As I settle into a seat in the second row in front of the main stage, it's obvious why. Despite the lack of flesh, she sets the bar high. Larry Flynt.

One middle-aged guy appears to be listening to a Walkman; another plays the part of the grinning baller. The full-contact, fully nude dance is flirty and fun, making what can be a truly strange experience I'm still not totally sure why men pay for lap dances into light, sexy play. Noting a rare couple seated next to us, I turn to chat them up. Since then, the Lusty Lady has permanently closed.

I spend the last of my cash in tips, and we head for the door. You must choose your poison. What sort of music is she into? I'm an immediate sucker for her dark skin, punky haircut, and charming accent. Luckily, there's no shortage of grit on any after-dark walk down Broadway. With my wife.

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From their seminal porn flick Behind the Green Door starring their dancer Marilyn Chambers to public battles with Mayor Dianne Feinstein in the '80s to Artie's murder at the hands of his brotherthis is ground zero for SF skin. Be sure to include the time, date, and of guests in your party. Some dancers pay us nice attention as we slip singles beneath bra straps and into garters.

I've passed scheeule Hustler Club on Kearny Street a hundred times, always peering down the steep, street-level stairs and chuckling over the fact that two of the four TVs visible from the cdazy perpetually play The People vs.

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Related Articles Around the Web. All of these questions are largely, and deliberately, left unanswered. Sporting my trench coat—it was raining earlier, I swear—I find it hard to shake the feeling that I could easily become one of them. The slab of meat is enormous, and the buttery potatoes and mixed vegetables schsdule easy enough going down with a glass of Fat Tire. So I 33 single Cambridge professional forth to write yorse story with just one piece of intel, a fact that continues to surprise nudie-bar neophytes: San Francisco scedule prevents any club that serves alcohol from being fully nude.

The following night around 10 p. In retrospect, it might have been me who was uninspired that final night of the tour. I went to one for my bachelor party, but I'm hardly a regular. Others are oddly uninspired, though I can't tell why, as we're the only guys seated norse the stage and handing out money. Not a minute in, they commence imploring me for private rooms and trips to the ATM.

That appeal solidifies when she takes it all off to the woozy sounds of Tom Waits and Leonard Cohen.

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Cruising down the sloping floor of the former movie house, my buddy and I settle into a pair of theater seats alongside the main stage's runway among a large crowd. Local history is built on them. After three clubs in as many nights, I'd begun to weary of the routine: the nagging feeling I wasn't spending enough money, and the clear fact that even deep pockets would net only a relatively shallow experience. But when I actually enter, it becomes clear that the movie is about as much Hustler action as I'm going to get.